Monday, March 10, 2014
I'm here today to share a little outfit post. I know the internet is just flooded with fashion bloggers and people with some of the coolest, most expensive, awesome clothes...we're totally not them. We are poor as poor can be, but Bry and I love to get dressed up and I figured it could be fun to document our fashion styles. We love thrifting and I get tons of hand-me-downs from friends and cousins. Any way we can save money, we do! I've always loved fashion, it's something that I just gravitate towards like a magnet. And he goes a long with it, so how could I pass it up, right?!
This post is pretty casual, its pretty much our everyday looks. Really simple, jeans and t-shirt kind of people. So I felt it was a good day for a Beatles shirt, and why not include the record too! I found that record at Jerry's Records up in Squirrel Hill last spring for...(wait for it)....just $8!!!! WHAT?! One of my best finds. So anyhoozle...This is something we'd wear out to the mall, or to go run and grab some groceries. He loves color just as much as I do, so putting him in a bright red shirt with electric blue stripes was no issue. He's so chill, he didn't even blink when I grabbed this look out of his closet.
Look how handsome he is! That's his everyday beenie. No kidding, if it goes missing...everything must be dropped before we can leave the house to find this hat. I get it though, it fits his head so perfectly. We found that shirt in Goodwill. I think it only cost him like $2. It's a skeleton of a short-faced bear. My nickname for him is "bear", so he kind of had to get it. Now he's got a few other shirts with bears on them. It's kind of become a thing. Have you guys seen any good shirts with bears lately? hahah!
I've had that shirt and cardigan for years. I found the shirt in Walmart, actually back when I was at Douglas. That's a 6 year old shirt...yea, I hold on to stuff. Probably for too long. But, that's what being poor and fugal is all about! The sweater came from Target. I am totally obsessed with Target. Seriously. Their products and the design of pretty much everything in that store is just plain magical. I love the color pallets they use, and everything is always top quality. But I'm sure you all know that already, but I figured I'd gush about it any way.
The beanie I stole from Bry, the pants and undershirt are hand-me-downs from my best friend, Amanda. As you can tell, they're a bit long on me and I had to rol them up... a lot. She's 6'1" and I'm 5'2". Yea, there's a bit of a height difference. haha! My moccasins are Minnetonka, and all the jewelry I'm wearing I designed. If you're interested in purchasing similar pieces, visit our contact page and shoot me an email!
Yea, so let's talk about this one. I guess Bry is a little quicker with the camera than I thought he was. He was just snapping photos the whole time, catching the most ridiculous faces I've probably ever made. This one, is pretty intense. I thought it was funny, and I think it's good to show the other side to all the perfect fashion blog photos. I look dumb as hell, but it's funny.
We're going to do a few more of these, I think. It was a lot of fun to get all dolled up for no reason and go in the back yard to bounce around. My dude is so cool and so easy going, I love that he'll give anything at least one chance. AND! For your viewing pleasure, another gratuitous picture of our lovely cat, Pepper being very sleepy the other afternoon. Enjoy :)
Until next time, friends!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
I'm sure you've noticed how quite things have been lately, and if you've read my last post...you'll know why. Depression has kicked my ass lately, but I'm finally coming out of it. This post is the proof. I haven't drawn, sculpted, or painted as much as I have in the past two weeks as I have in this entire year. It's been incredible. Bryan and I are home together now, and it's been so wonderful to just be able to wake up when we want and do whatever we want during the day. The no money part is pretty shitty, but we're managing rather well.
I feel so much better. My medication is starting to actually set in and I can honestly say that I don't hate life at all right now. I wish things could stay like this for the rest of ever, but I know eventually we're going to have to go to real life. That is unless something absolutely magical happens, but let's not hold our breath. haha! We started sculpting little things the other day out of Super Sculpey, and it's been some of the most fun we've had in a long time. Cabin fever is pretty lame, but crafts with my man is pretty swell. I heard birds outside our bedroom this morning and I can't lie....it got me all kinds of excited for spring, so I've been working with a lot of pastel and light colors recently.
We also sent in our contract for this year's Sunday Market down at the Pump House. The first market is May 4th, and we've been working on things for it like crazy. I've got an entire MONTH to work on crafty things, and that's probably the best thing to happen to me in the longest time! I can't wait for the market to start back up again, I've been missing it like crazy. AND!!! It's not just an every-other week thing this year, it's going to be held EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY!!! Holy fucking crap, I can not wait.
Anyhoozle....So let's talk about the craziness in this post. The very first picture is of a few really rough character sketches for a project that my darling friend, Colleen and I are working on. Most likely, I'll be sharing more on here once we get a bit further in. We're just in the planning stages right now. The rest of the art below is kind of random. The two single faces are doodles from my new Samsung Galaxy Note3, and yea....I'm totally in a love affair with my phone. Bryan knows, and he's cool with it. The mermaids were a present for a dear friend on the day of her baby shower. She's having a precious little girl and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to paint a tiny mermaid! That baby shower was so fun. A bunch of us girls dressed up like Disney Princesses and surprised her with all kinds of games and fun things to do that day. I was Alice, of course. Who else would I be? Duh! The very last piece of art here today is that of some cards that I'm working on. It's a series of greeting cards with various woodland creatures that live in Southwestern Pennsylvania. I'm so in love with my city and the good ol' state of PA, so I felt it was due time for me to pay a little homage to the gorgeous creatures that call our woods 'home'. Those will be for sale this spring at the Pump House Market.
The above image is from a short film we helped make a few weeks ago with a few friends. You can check it out here!!
We've also been trying to take more photos in general. Every time we go out now, we try and look at least a little decent because you never know when the opportunity for a good shot will present itself. And the few photos below are just that...I mean, c'mon look how handsome he looks in this one!? And that was his idea for the one with my ring collects (and yea, that's totally not all of them). I've really been enjoying all the time he and I have been given to relax and work on the things we enjoy.
I LOVE THIS PICTURE HAHGRFBKASDGBLAGBALGB!!!!
Again, his idea. He snatched my phone out of my hand that morning and fiddled with the timers and ta-dah! An adorable photo of us on the front steps of the house.
The few photos above are from our recent adventures in clay. It's been really fun scouring the internet looking for inspiration for tiny foods, and all the adorable things Japan has to offer. Japan and its Lolita fashions have really been inspiring me this year. It's like a flashback to high school ahaha! Bryan hasn't worked with clay before and for his first time, he really impressed me. But, really, I shouldn't be surprised. He picks up on things so quickly if he's really interested in it.
I think we're going to be pumping out a few more creations today. It's going to be a working day in our house. It's actually pretty hard to stay motivated in our absence/unemployment. But, we're doing pretty well. We've been planning a lot. The market starts soon (EEP!), and spring is just around the corner. That means tons of hiking and probably more photography than you folks can stand! I'm planning on scavenging through the forest for feathers, bones, and any sort of plant or flower that catches my eye. I started drying flowers a little bit last year, and cant' wait to continue again this year! Pictures to come, don't you fret!
Overall, I'm feeling pretty good, and am excited to get back into the swing of things. I'm not rushing, trust me. This month is still going to be very slow for me, because otherwise I'll just be back to where I started. I still haven't found a therapy place yet, I've gotten discouraged because of all the places turning me away...but I'll figure it out eventually. I'm doing pretty good though for now, and that's something to smile about.
And a gratuitous picture of our beautiful cat, Pepper in mid-sneak. I caught her.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Yup, that's a photo of a giant spider eating a fly. I took that 2 springs ago, he made his web right off my front porch. Just in the perfect spot for me to snap a few good shots. I watched him eat that spider that day, it was very slow and the fly didn't even struggle. It just sat there and allowed fate to take its course. I started thinking about it a little more a few days ago, when I was cleaning out my camera.
Recently, I was put on an antidepressant for depression and anxiety. It's something that I've hid from so many people for far too long. Life started caving in on me and I couldn't focus on anything but that things that were making me sad. I just stayed in the house allowed the sadness to cover me like a giant blanket of doom. Dramatic, I know. But when you're in it, everything is dramatic. I was crying over anything at the drop of a hat. I couldn't muster the strength to see my friends, or even talk to them on the phone. I was so afraid of looking like I was broken and that had failed; that I had started failing without realizing it. It took me totally flipping out and completely shutting down after accidentally dropping my phone in the toilet to take notice of how ridiculous things had become.
I was kind of like that spider. I got stuck in a web and didn't even struggle. I didn't fight to be happier, or to hang out with my friends. I didn't fight to properly grieve over the death of my mother, or to actually take the time to heal. I allowed the bad things in life to be bad things and just accepted that my life sucked and there was nothing that was going to make it better. I allowed it to consume my every thought. That becomes an issue when your instructors are expecting you to focus on school work, but all I could see was my pain. But after stumbling over this post while trying to find some comfort on the internet, I realized that what I was feeling was something that so many others had felt. That I wasn't as damaged as I thought I was. That I wasn't alone. And that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it's going to be a long walk through that tunnel....but there's still a light.
"For so long I thought
that I was bad at being
a grown up person.
No one else reacted
to things like me,
or felt things like me.
I thought they were dealing
with what I was feeling."
I'm 6 days into my medication, and I won't lie, I've been pretty sick these past few days. But I'm not crying 6 times a day anymore, so it's a nice trade-off. Day 3 was the worst thou, I'd been having issues sleeping and then around 5am...I got incredibly sick and vomited. I've been experiencing some mild nausea and some dizziness, but the worst is the insomnia and restless legs at night. I cherish my sleep and when I am not able to get it, I feel crummy. But I talked with one of my friends who is also on the same medication and she said it does pass. Her sleep has gotten back to normal, and she doesn't experience the nausea anymore. So yea, a light at the end of the tunnel.
The idea of being on a medication and being "depressed" really embarrassed me. I didn't want to tell any of my friends that I had taken a medical leave from school and I sure as hell didn't want to tell them the doctor has me on meds. I didn't want to be that girl. But I am that girl, and after thinking a little bit more about it....the only way I'm going to stop being the depressed girl is to own it, deal with it, and then heal from it. So that's what I'm doing and that's what this post is about. Being honest about how I'm feeling instead of pushing it down because others are sick of hearing about it, or because I'm worried they're going to judge me. I have depression. I have anxiety. I am on medication.
I'm opening doors in my life now, instead of closing them and hoping the good stuff on the other side is going to magically find its way over to me through osmosis. Because, who am I kidding thinking that way?! I finally gave in and spoke up for help, and now that I'm getting it and I'm taking the time to take care of myself.. I feel like a giant weight is taken off of me. My knees were buckling under all that pressure of life and the emotional burdens that I hadn't properly dealt with. Now, I feel like I can almost breathe again. I'm not quite there, so don't think things are all sunshine and rainbows yet. I've still got a lot of work ahead of me. I'm going to be looking into therapy and I've got to stay consistent with my medication.
But I think that being honest with myself and those around me that I care about is probably the best thing I've done for myself thus far in my life. I haven't started my therapy yet. I'll actually be making that phone call right after I post this. I'm nervous about digging up all those old emotions and memories. It's going to be tough, but that's probably the only way I'm ever going to be solid again. I want to be solid more than anything. I have hope for my future again. I know that's pretty heavy stuff for being only 6 days into my meds without therapy, but the first step has me feeling pretty good so far. I've got about a month to focus on me and regain some sanity and so far is been filled with love and support.
Bryan is my rock, he's been so good to me so far. And I think if it weren't for his patience and amazing hugs, I won't being doing as well as I am. He's always encouraging me, and reassuring me that I'm ok. I'm so blessed to have him in my life. And I've been making it a priority to be honest and open with him and the rest of my circle. I've also been trying to spend more time with my sister. She's always a bright light in my life. Her smile is so comforting, when she smiles, I know things are good and I can relax. The past week since I took my leave of absence has been filled with friends, love, and craft projects...exactly what I needed.
I loose sight of it every once in a while, but when I need it most, the people in my life rally around me and take care of me. I am more than blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people and I forget that sometimes. The bad things in my life have put blinders on my eyes over the past 3 years since mom died. But on the ride home from the doctor's 6 nights ago, I felt something in the universe shift. There's a positive feeling inside of me...it's probably just my meds....but I don't care. It feels good to feel good.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you've made it to the bottom...thank you for your patience. This took a lot of for me to write this. Actually, I've been writing bits and pieces all week, deleting large portions and rewriting whole paragraphs. But I felt like it would be good for me, and maybe some one like me...who's embarrassed by their depression or doesn't know how to speak up with find some comfort and be able to relate to my words. And I'm making a proposition...let's start a conversation. Do you ever feel like me? Let me know, let's find comfort in each other! We can always use more friends.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
This is a fun one. I really like this song. I've heard this a dozen times on the radio and I can't lie, I turn it up every time. It's very 80's but in the very very very best way possible. The lyrics are kind of somber, but the melody and bouncy electro beat in the background keep it light and fun. Her voice reminds me a little bit of Debbie Gibson. No hate here. I love me some Debbie Gibson. Their music is pretty chill overall, and completely listenable on a regular basis. Her voice is that pleasant. I love their vibe!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
I'm here to share all my squishy Valentine's Day feelings with you because... well, for once I can actually say I am completely in love with the person I'm with this year. He makes my heart swell with the warmest, lamest, squishiest feels ever. No joke. Damn you, Bryan...turned me into a girl! :P
Well, these 3 songs are for him. They remind me of him every time I hear them and my heart just sings every time they come on the radio. So who ever you are, and where ever you are this Valentine's, I hope you feel loved. Even if you don't feel it, know you are loved...even if it's just love radiating from my little corner of the internet!
Happy Valentine's Day, EVERYONE!! (Especially Bryan, though <3)
(not even gonna lie, ^this song always makes me cry....I'm so fucking lame.)
Friday, February 7, 2014
Today marks a very special day in music history. It is the 50th anniversary of the greatest band of all time coming to our great American shores. The Beatles arrived at JKF airport 50 years ago today, to make their biggest TV break only a few days later on The Ed Sullivan Show. This band has been more important to me throughout my entire life than any religion ever has. I grew up with The Beatles. They're my dad's favorite band and so many of my most cherished memories have them playing in the background. Through out the years, I've grown fonder and fonder of their music, the mysteries behind the lyrics, and the overall message they represent. Love. The represent something much deeper than music for me. In the Karnes' household, The Beatles are more like a religion and less like a band.
I could go on and on and on and on for years about how deep my love of The Beatles is. But, I will not subject you to the squishy feelings of this misplaced hippie soul. Just enjoy this amazing video of the real 'first appearance' of The Beatles.
And just for fun, go grab a record or press play on that MP3, and help me celebrate this amazing milestone of a band that has stood the test of time. Congrats, boys. <3
Thursday, February 6, 2014
I FRICKEN LOVE THIS BAND. Yea. I had to get that out of the way. Normally, for a Juke Box, I would only post one song of the band/artist. But for serious, I had to post 3. You guys need to listen to all of them, no kidding. I think you'll love them too.
They're kind of reminisant of The Bangles, but with a bit of Jefferson Airplane flare. Ugh...I love them so much! And what is up with the perfect lighting and wind in every single video, they're perfect. I can't stand how awesome these ladies are. They totally make me want to pick my guitar back up and start playing again. The urge is there, they're totally making it hard to silence that urge.
Enjoy the trippy rock goddesses of Warpaint. They're killer.